You’re the Strong One: Redefining Sensitivity

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You’re the Strong One: Redefining Sensitivity

 

Dear You. Whoever you are, and wherever you are. This is for you.

 

It is time to redefine the role of sensitivity.

 

It’s not for the weak.

 

It’s not for the irrational.

 

It’s not for the passive people that let their lives be ruled by others.

 

It’s for the powerful.

 

So let’s talk about it.

 

If you chose to read this, the chances are that you consider yourself sensitive. Good news: you’re not the only one. (Read: Me. It’s me. I’m sensitive.)  But have you ever believed that it is what has made you strong? And not strong in just a ‘Gandalf quietly standing in the driveway of the Shire for emotional support’ strong, but a ‘Gandalf single-handedly standing up to a scary horned bad guy’ strong?

Well, guess what: you are stronger than you can even imagine and it’s not even in spite of being sensitive. It’s because you are sensitive. To wake up each day knowing the depth of emotions you will experience (that often see both ends of the spectrum), and still get up to face the day is a resilience that is deep within you. Probably to the point that you take it for granted.

Yes, there are days where feeling all your feelings (and your neighbors feelings, and that random check-out lady and her dogs’ feelings) can be intensely lonely, discouraging, frustrating, and overwhelming. And let’s not mention confusing. (Why do you feel guilty for telling someone they did something wrong? WHY?) You pick up on the emotions all around you. You probably find yourself spending times alone doing nothing or trying not to think (can I get a resounding “Netflix binge”).  But stop for a moment and realize what that implies. You can sense when change is needed around you, and you are a person that is able to create cohesive change. You are willing to work at things because you do it for others. That’s a path that not everyone can understand.

 

The times when you feel drained and completely weakened by your sensitivity is a time when your talent is being misused. Your body and mind are trying to tell you that you’re carrying a burden that you don’t need to be. So don’t abandon your gift, leave behind the burden. Maybe it’s shame, guilt, or feeling responsible for someone else’s choices. The most important part is challenging the thought that sensitivity is a weakness. Who says it’s weak? Who says it’s useless or irrational? Who told you that? Why do you believe it? Because I’m here to be a voice that says none of those statements are true. You do not have to live by that.

 

To stand in a room means picking up on nuances that many people do not see or feel.  To continue to stand there means you have persistence. To wake each morning not knowing what emotions you will experience that day and still be willing to get out of bed is a sign of strength. Even those days you stay in bed, there is a strength required to take care of yourself so you can meet the next day head-on. It’s strong because it really would be easier to give in to numbness or callousness. It’s easy to pretend like you don’t care about others and become a narcissist. You’ve chosen an honorable thing when you choose to listen to and respect your sensitivity. And you don’t have to make that choice solo.

You are part of a powerful group of people. A group of human beings that are diverse, caring, and influential. We have the ability to see beauty in black + white photos, we cry in silent moments, we feel overwhelming joy at recalling a second in our lives. Your ability to connect with others and pick up on their body language and tone of voice is something that can’t always be explained. And there are some days that don’t feel super emotional, and that’s fine too.

So let’s do this. Let’s embrace that quality and believe it will make us and others strong. Believe that it is something that can change your world, and let’s do this thing.

 

Now I want to hear from you.

In the comments below, tell me what your biggest takeaway was. How can you turn that into action?

Share as much detail as you can. We have thousands of souls coming to this blog looking for answers, and your comment could be the answer to their prayer.

Thank you for sharing your voice. The world needs your voice being strong and clear.

All my love,

kristen

27 thoughts on “You’re the Strong One: Redefining Sensitivity

  1. I need to read this 100% today. The overwhelming nature of being a HSP can be a lot. I really like your suggestions and I’m on the path to seeing how much of a strength sensitivity is too.

  2. Thank you, Kristen – this is an incredible post! Just reading it offered healing comfort and insight for me – like warm sunshine on my face :). I have big emotions. Big. From my childhood, I learned big emotions were risky and often punishable. I’m working on releasing decades of pleasing patterns from abuse and truly stepping into my authentic self. It’s time to be me in way I never have before. All of me. Oh, it’s time. I am committed and I know that as I choose this, I’ll gain increased ability and capacity to create beauty, light and love in my own life and within others’ lives. I’ll be a more aligned servant and steward. So here’s to choosing my path. Here’s to creating. And thanks for the example you are to us all, Kristen – my world’s a better place because I moved across the street from you 14 years ago 🙂 You are a blessing.

  3. Thank you for this post. I can identify with all of it, and am searching for my own ways to set boundaries and grow and to take care of myself. My distraction has been focusing on my kids for so long, I forgot about taking care of me. It feels like a re-entry of sorts and I’m still trying to figure it out. I struggle with wanting so much to express my emotions but not having the proper outlets to do so.

    1. Oh Carrie,
      I did the same thing. It is one of the biggest regrets that I have. Interesting though that my children have been more inspired by me living my dreams than me nagging them to live theirs. Together you and I can do this. We just have to remember we are not alone.

  4. I have found that some of the most amazing people that I know have had more than their share of hurt in this life, and have come through the other side so much better because of how they chose to deal with it.

    Kintsugi is a great analogy for those lives.

    Thanks for this post. We are all works in progress to find the right balance.

  5. I can’t resist sharing a book here: “Boundaries”, by Cloud and Townsend. It helped me to understand that boundaries are a good thing, especially for me.

  6. Why I do not comment.
    Well Kristen, because of past hurts. You are unusually encouraging and uplifting. You actually go out of your way to “look for the good”.
    After giving your question of why do you not comment much thought, 24 hours at least, I have come to the conclusion: this is a safe place to comment. Because you are always looking for the good in others, you are also attracting a like minded audience. I see no fighting, negative comments, or pulling someone’s spirits down here. Everyone is here with the intention to connect and uplift each other. 🙂
    Thank you for asking why I do not comment. It was well worth my time to contemplate that question. Going forward I will be able to use this analogy in any group I am in! 🙂 🙂 🙂
    Hope every one is having a great day!

    P.s. one of the things that has helped me the most as a sensitive soul is realizing a lot of the emotions that run through my body are not mine. Then I don’t have to spend time thinking about “why am I having this negative emotion/what is wrong with me?”. I just realize oh you are not mine, I release you with love. Just the same as when you realize a family members article of clothing ended up in your laundry 😉 this is not mine, and give it back 🙂

    1. I am so glad you felt like you could comment. No rude comments allowed. A few are sent but they are not approved. Keeping it a cozy place for everyone. When they come through I reach out to them privately if it is something I need to take responsibility for. Usually, though they just go in the spam folder. Sending a massive hug.

  7. My daughter would tell me I was too sensitive, but I’ve come to realize it’s a gift . i love to be in nature, in my garden or on a walk. I can lose myself playing solitaire on my iPad or listening to a good audio book. Thanks for reminding me that sometimes I need to retreat and refill my soul rather than push myself to keep trudging along.

    1. I love that sentence and am going to write it in my journal. Retreat and refill my soul.Thank you.

  8. Thank you Kristen. I needed this today! I don’t usually see (or feel) sensitivity as a strength. I’m going to work on this.

    1. It is such a strength. A beautiful gift that the world needs.We need YOU. In your cloak of sensitivity.

  9. I love this post. Yes, I am a sensitive person, and I firmly believe it is one of the most beautiful gifts I have to offer the world. That belief is what keeps my heart open when the feelings are just so big. The world needs compassion more and more every day. 💜

    1. yes, I am with you most of the time. Sometimes I curl up and cry but I will remember when I am done crying that I do see it as a gift.

  10. I love this! I never knew that was a thing that other people did I just thought there was something wrong with me. I read a blog post about being highly sensitive and it hit me like a ton of bricks that I wasn’t alone. I also distract with FB and Netflix and honestly it just makes things worse. Thank you for posting this! I definitely need to think more about all these things.

    1. I love you! It is such a thing for many people. I hope you will journal some of the thoughts and ideas that came up for you as you read this.

  11. This is new to me…that being said, being sensitive is my main distraction because I feel the energy of others. I also own too much if it. Boundaries, that is a new concept, my dream to be a mother has been realized, therefore responsibility is difficult to shift. I wear my heart on my sleeve and you can read my face like a book, which only makes me more vulnerable. Super sensitive, yes ma’am, that is me, yet I believe all things have purpose.

    1. I agree that everything has a purpose. for example, seeing everything on your face means that people can connect with you easily and now where you stand,

  12. Boundaries have been something I have been working on for the last few years. I didn’t realize that the majority of issues in my life were a direct result of boundaries. Since my journey started I have found it easier and easier to draw the line in the sand. I’m far from perfect in this area as I tend to take on emotions from those that surround me.
    My place of solitude in the spring-fall months is my garden! Having the morning sun on my face & my hands in the dirt just does something for my wellbeing! I do recognize my intuitive nature as a strength in my life. (As long as it is in check and boundaries are established) In the past I have used games to distract me….those I have gotten lost in. My favorite distraction that I haven’t used to run away is my crocheting and hand knitting things. I love to create. I totally relate to the getting butt hurt when no one replies.
    I love you. I appreciate your support. I appreciate your being in trenches with me. I appreciate your venerability with me. I think your the bomb . com and I absolutely, positively adore you! ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

    1. Boundaries have consumed me as I now have a deeper understanding for they were so hard for me. Love the fact that has been your focus.

  13. I use my clients life problems as a distraction. It works, but becomes extremely exhausting. I know it’s not healthy for me, and wipes me of my energy. It’s hard because I do like to help people. I just need to learn boundaries, like you said. I come to realize when I take care of me, and focus on my self growth, not only do I benefit, but my family and people around me do too. Thanks for the tips and validation❤

    1. I did that and for me personally, the cost became more than what I was willing to pay.

  14. I definitely use Instagram and Netflix as a distraction and I despise it.
    Being outside and helping others helps to clear my mind.
    This is wonderful to hear that being a HSP (highly sensitive person) is actually a good thing. Thank you for writing this, it’s just what I needed to hear today and everyday. Xoxo

    1. being outside has been so crucial for me. The ocean clears me the most.

  15. I know see that coaching was a distraction and one that I very much got lost in! For the last 6 weeks after I resigned all I’ve said is I want to get my footing, I want to be whole again. My decision was SUPER hard but after reading this it has only reaffirmed to me that it was the right decision. It’s hard to keep boundaries when others don’t follow them!

    1. I totally relate to getting lost in something. The balance will come. You have got this.

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